Wednesday, January 07, 2009

CONFESSIONS OF A REGIFTER

There, I said it.

I'm a regifter.

Born into it.

Lived it my whole life.

Delving deep into my psyche would probably discover the reasons why.

I came from a large family where money was always a scarce commodity.

I didn't find any joy in buying birthday presents for my friends. That shopping "trip" went like this:

"Mom, Kathee invited me to her birthday party Saturday."

"OK, let's look in the closet and see what I have."

I didn't discover the joy of shopping for others until years later.

And even then, somehow I didn't realize that when I regifted I was robbing them of the pleasure of giving.

I always opened a gift with one thought lingering in the back of my mind, "Who could I give this to?", thus saving me that elusive spare cash for mundane things like rent, food, doctor bills.

In the last few years, this has happily changed for me.

I opened boxes containing earrings, pulling them off their cardboard backing and putting them on. I uncorked the bottles of wine and consumed them. I delved into the cookies and candies. I took the scarves and gloves and ripped off the tags and started wearing them. I proudly wrote my name inside the books, forever removing the temptation to regift them. I used the Starbucks card, instead of sending it on to a friend. I lit the candles.

I opened.

I used.

I enjoyed.

I have seen the light----I now consider myself a reformed regifter------because I am worth all these gifts chosen just for me!

My favorite quote from Dr. Northrup:

I do enough

I have enough

I AM enough

7 comments:

Eileen Williams said...

This post has a far deeper spiritual side than simply remarking on regifting. It is a true celebration of realizing that, yes, we too are enough. In fact, we're far better than just enough and deserve the best in life as does everyone else.
I have always bought things on sale rather than pay full price--even if I really liked the item. Although I still love a great bargain, I'm realizing that I, too, am enough. Enough, in fact, to buy things I really want and even pay full price--imagine that!

Debra Stokes said...

Regifting and multi-tasking are two 21st century practices/terms that we Boomers have learned to understand and overcome.

Multi-tasking is just being good at being a young wife and/or mother working inside and/or outside the home.

Regifting is being uber-efficient and good stewards of limited resources to meet the needs of as many as possible.

Good thing we figured out how to have enough, give enough and be enough.

"Mature" women rock!

Melodieann said...

I'm a notorious regifter - and not the least bit ashamed of it. In this culture where everyone seems to think you have to give gifts to everyone for every "holiday", I inevitably get those things I just have no use for. Rather than be disappointed in the lack of thought to the gift, I make it a point to remember that the person giving it took the time and spent the money to get me something and I am thankful that they care enough about me to do so. I thank them with great pleasure for their thougtfulness. Than I take the gift home and put it in my closet to be passed on to someone who WILL have a use for it.

Betty Lynch said...

I understand the regifting situation. Over the years I have received many gifts, that I dearly appreciate, but was not me. I've started giving Visa gift cards, as this lets the person purchase something they want and need. This trend is catching on in my family and cutting down on the regifting.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Virtual Woman's Day said...

Just had to leave a comment since WE Magazine for Women recently had a survey about regifting. We had 29 replies and of those 25 confessed to regifting. 2 said they had considered it but changed their minds and 2 said they never regifted. Interesting.

What I think is important to know is that if the gift is perfect for the reciever then I think its a great thing. Regifting can be a wonderful practice if the intent is right.

thanks for the great reminder that it is okay to regift.

No longer a closet regifter,

Heidi Richards Mooney, Publisher WE Magazine for Women ~ www.wemagazineforwomen.com

Karen O'Bannon said...

I have regifted about as many times as I have given new gifts. Can't seem to find any shame in it. If it's unused when I give it and would better serve the person I give it to than me, I'm okay with it.

Heidi Caswell said...

The spirit of the matter.

Are you regifting as you think you are not worth it? Then shame on you! Course I have done it at times. If someone gives me a gift of cash than it means I should buy something for myself, not put everyone's elses needs first. Of course if I believe there is a greater need it is nice to be able to give it freely.

And if you receive a gift perfect for someone else and it'd just collect dust at your place, then sure, pass it on.

Be honest in your thanks. One guy told me how he said how much he loved a certain dish his girl friend's mom cooked. So now every time he visits it is that same meal. And it has been many years as she later became his wife.